And time stood still. And for that brief moment I was completely free. Anything seemed possible. I took a deep breath in, and told myself there had to be more to life than just surviving, and suddenly, for that brief moment, it was all ok. I realized this is my life. And I began to live it. Embracing every moment, every laugh, every sunset, every tear...
I surrendered into the fact that it's never safe. There are no guarantees. No instruction manuals. And as scarred as that made me feel, it somehow gave me hope, suddenly bringing forth a whole new realm of possibilities.
It is now that I'm about to turn 30 (officially a 'grownup') that I look back when I was a child and tried to imagine who I would become when I grew up. How would I feel about myself and the world around me.
Well, I don't think I've 'become' anyone. I've always been. It's funny, but most days, I feel exactly the same way I did when I was 6. I still don't have a clue, I still worry about everything, I get insecure, confused, frustrated, happy, sad, angry...
But somehow, much more optimistic. These days, I try not to judge too much, both myself and others. I try to be honest, not say things I don't mean, be kind, generous and compassionate. I try not to dwell in the past and I'm not afraid to experience all emotions in life.
I close my eyes and I just am. Still that little girl no one seemed to figure out. I still see a tree and have an uncontrollable urge to climb it, can't help to splash in a lonely puddle of water, love to walk barefoot down the street and dare to run naked in the rain...